Don’t think twice

I promised to let you leave gracefully. You promised not to look back.

One of us lied.

Your footsteps kicked up dust in the yard. I followed you out, my fingers catching at your sleeve.

I will leave the door open for you. I will leave the porch light on.


17 responses to “Don’t think twice

  1. I was waiting so eagerly to read your piece. As usual, you didn’t disappoint!

    So much I loved in this.
    That catching of the sleeve: Despair
    Footsteps kicking up dust: His hurry to leave
    Pathos in the last two lines that signify that he has left but she hasn’t given up hope. Oh my! Sigh.

  2. My favorite: “One of us lied.” What a wonderful hammer.
    I also liked how you left the genders (might be a woman leaving) up to interpretation. It could be anyone, anywhere, any age.

  3. So many emotions conveyed in this piece. I liked how the answer is in the title and the piece is a powerful story to support it.

  4. I love “one of us lied.” That’s powerful right there in the middle. You clearly communicate the speaker’s feelings of desperation – and hope.

  5. That tiny detail of ‘my fingers catching at your sleeve’ is a great touch to your heartbreaking narrative. And the last line of hope beautifully rounds up this piece. Nice one Christine!

  6. That line in the middle–“one of us lied”–like everyone else commented on, is so impactful and wonderful! As I read it, I immediately got the sense that he lied, and he knows this, but he’s hoping that she lied, as well. The last two lines are full of hope and sadness, and part of me kind of hopes the main character will get what he wants.

  7. It’s so sad. She can’t let him gonbutnhe is upholding his end of the bargain to never look back! Funny he can finally keep THAT promise! I’m feeling he probably broke others.

  8. I have missed Yeah Write. There’s so much to learn just from reading all the writing on the grids.
    I loved this one for how it conveys the contrasting emotions.

  9. There’s an ethereal feeling to this piece. Like these people are wisps, grasping at each other with fingers made of smoke. It’s beautiful and sad.

  10. Oh, so much heartbreak here. “One of us lied” is so sad and wry and gut-wrenching. And I love those last two sentences.

  11. Kalpana solsi

    Leaving the door open and porch light on indicates her/his open willingness to continue the relationship. Even though no gender is mentioned , I perceived the lady tugging her man’s sleeve imploring to return.

  12. Leaving and letting someone leave, both are so painful that they suck the life out of you.very emotional piece!

  13. Beautiful work, Christine.
    I wrote one, similar to yours, (Rowan pointed that out) but forgot to add on the grid.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s