Let the rain come

I
promise
if you stay
I will make you
cry

I
will trap
your bright tears
turn them into
stars

Let
them shine
let them glow
light up your dark
sky

I
will taste
your sweet rain
the salt on your
skin


So this is not quite a lanterne. It was still fun to write.

 

17 responses to “Let the rain come

  1. I love how well this flows.

  2. I like the form and the flow, Christine.

  3. Oh this is so so beautiful, Christine! The words are so lyrical and the delicate shape adds so much, too.

    • I’ve never written a shaped poem like this before! It always seemed so contrived. I was aiming for a lanterne, but Rowan tells me I missed the mark a bit. (I was also aiming for a gargleblaster, but this doesn’t really answer the question.)

      • I had to look up lanterne, too. And now I have a whole new poetic form to try to learn. I can maybe see that it doesn’t answer the question (which is ok because it’s just so beautiful!), but having read the definition of lanterne, I’m not sure how it doesn’t follow those rules. Teach me, oh wise ones 🙂

      • Each line is supposed to stand on its own, not just each stanza. I didn’t quite get that when I wrote this one. I will definitely try again!

      • Nothing is ever easy with these poems! Great challenge 🙂

  4. Like the way it looks like drops coming down…

  5. It’s gorgeous. Now I have to look up lanterne.

  6. This is beautiful. But I’m not sure I get the each line standing on its own thing. I guess with one word it’s automatic but with more words it needs to be a sentence? Or what?

    • That was my problem too! I couldn’t even find any good examples online. I made Rowan give me an example:

      Leaves
      pale green
      delicate
      swaying softly
      Spring

      My stanzas are sentences, broken up across lines. It’s supposed to be more like a haiku, sort of? To set a mood, rather than straight up tell a story? I’m not sure. I’ll be thinking on this for a while.

  7. Well kudos to you for always trying new things in your writing, especially as it’s a boon to those who read them. I still remember the very first piece of yours that I read AGES ago, and you e not yet posted something that didn’t make me say daaaammmnnn when I was done. Loved the last stanza.

  8. The form is spot on for this.

  9. This is fabulous! The form/shape, the rhythm, the choice of words. Delicious. “I promise if you stay I will make you cry” — wow! What an opener. Stunning.

  10. Very lyrical. It was a pleasure reading this.

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