Haiku

Moonlight on the snow

Reflecting through our window.

Your pillow, untouched.


This post was made in response to the Trifecta Writing Challenge weekend Trifextra prompt, in which the editors asked us for a haiku: an unrhymed verse form of Japanese origin having three lines containing usually five, seven, and five syllables respectively.

I know haikus aren’t supposed to rhyme; that’s just how the words fell into place. I hope it’s no less enjoyable for that.

26 responses to “Haiku

  1. This really feels like a Japanese Haiku!

  2. except for the rhyme as you said, but the mood does

  3. Oh, this is such sad, beautiful writing. Well done!

  4. This speaks volumes. Touchingly beautiful!

  5. Scriptor Obscura

    Beautiful. Beautiful image. Sad.

  6. Scriptor Obscura

    In my mind, this is the winner. Trifecta should pick this as the winner.

  7. Wonderful haiku. I like how moonlit snow doesn’t seem cold but, the untouched pillow does. Beautiful imagery. Very emotionally evocative.

  8. This is one of the best entries I’ve read for week 83. Super.

  9. i really love this. This is how it’s done 🙂

  10. The snow, the pillow. Very poignant. Really liked this a lot.

  11. Untouched , your pillow….
    And that wud have been fun…
    sorry..just kidding..the rhyme didnt take away the beautiful imagery nor the prick of pain.

  12. The last line was especially sad.

  13. Wow.. a whole story.. that last line really was a haiku – moment. One of my favorites this week

  14. Gorgeous, Christine!
    I get the sad, but it made me tap into angry resentment. Go figure.

  15. I love this. So beautiful and sad. Well done!

  16. Pingback: Haiku: GUARDIAN | merlinspielen

  17. Congratulations on the win, Christine! You tap into the feel of loneliness so intimately.

  18. Congrats on the win.

  19. I loved this one. I like the imagery. I didn’t notice that the words rhymed until you pointed it out. That was not because I wasn’t paying attention but just because I was enjoying the words. Congratulations on your win.

  20. you always get right to the heart of things, this is no exception.

    again, I found my eyes filling with the force of your words and the ache that empty pillowcase would bring.

    XO

  21. Very beautiful and such strong imagery. Deserved 1st place, congratulations.

  22. I love that you embraced the tougher aspects of the form: the nature imagery, and the statement at the end in reaction to the first two lines.

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