Before

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I remember the days before the rebellion, before the great starships went away. Stinging drops etched the sands while we clung to fences, watching the ships leave. The shuffling of feet still reminds me of rain.

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This post is part of the Jade Dragon series. Though I try to make these installments enjoyable as individual pieces, I highly recommend that you read the series from the beginning to really get what’s going on.

This post was written in response to the Trifecta Writing Challenge weekend Trifextra prompt:

We are giving you three words and asking that you add another 33 to them to make a complete 36-word response.  You may use the words in any order you choose.

Our three words are: remember, rain, rebellion.

Now you give us yours.

This weekend’s challenge is community-judged! I encourage you to visit the Trifecta Writing Challenge site to read the other entries. Voting starts on Sunday at 6:00 PM Pacific (9:00 PM Eastern), and runs for 12 hours. You can choose – of course – up to three winners. I hope mine is one of them!

33 responses to “Before

  1. Pingback: Triage | Trudging Through Fog

  2. Beautiful. I love the sadness. Lovely.

  3. oh my, oh wow. “the shuffling of feet still reminds me of rain”
    what a haunting, expressive piece.

    have a great weekend

  4. shuffling of feet – rain
    I can hear that picture. 🙂

  5. There’s a sadness in “watching the ships leave.” The sense of loss is well portrayed.

  6. Forgive me but ET sprung into my head 😦 stinging drops etched the sand a vision (without ET) lovely

  7. Carefully-crafted rhythm to this episode…

  8. Sounds the either the beginning or the end of an epic tale.

  9. Beautiful! I love that last line – it sums up the mood and emotion perfectly.

  10. What a tight fist of emotions in this writing.

  11. Wonderful. I love this: Stinging drops etched the sands while we clung to fences,

  12. I feel all gritty and sad. Good job.

  13. Stellar job!! Love the etched sand. So nice!

  14. Clung to fences and shuffling feet…I can picture and hear those images now.

  15. What a sense of abandonment! And the rain of shuffling feet – fantastic!

  16. That last line was absolutely money. I heard the feet and the rain. That’s just great.

  17. This made me think of children at the docks waiting for the ships to sail into port. Beautiful.

  18. Shuffling of feet, clinging to fences… foreboding images.

  19. Those lines have hooked me. Would love to read the series.

  20. Awesome, as always. I can hear the rainy feet (:

  21. You’re just the second blogpost of this challenge I’ve read. Memory is what I thought of when I saw rain in the prompt. I like the way you are incorporating the prompts into a continuing story. http://annbennett2.blogspot.com

  22. You achieve so much with so few words. I saw the details of the scene and wanted more. This is, quite simply, very good writing.

  23. How beautifully you have painted this scene-the longing,the sadness,love it!

  24. Very full. Love the last line.

  25. Ah, just luvv the that last line. That on’es signature you 🙂

  26. Stinging drops etched the sand – how perfect is that?

  27. Pingback: Manners | Trudging Through Fog

  28. Lovely, lovely. So much atmosphere, so few words.

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