Snow Covered Hills

We called each other same snowflakes, but we weren’t twins. We didn’t even look alike, me and Rosie, her with black hair and me with blonde. Mama called us her looking-glass girls. We were inseparable.

We both fell for Ben. How could we not? We loved the same things, me and Rosie. He loved us both, but he loved Rosie more. I was the quiet one, the shy one. I wanted to be bold like her.

Time changes us. I watched my looking-glass reflection wander the snowy hills, loving and loved by him. I let the landslide take them both.


This post was written in response to two prompts:

For the Scriptic prompt exchange this week, Lance gave me this prompt: We called each other same snowflakes but we weren’t twins.

I gave Tara Roberts this prompt: A day in the life. You decide whose life. Word limit: 500 words.

When I got this prompt from through the Scriptic prompt exchange, how could I resist the temptation to also link up to Lance’s own 100 Word Song prompt? This week’s song: Landslide by Fleetwood Mac. This is my first time participating in the 100 Word Song prompt.

By the way, I have a short excerpt up for critique over at the Trifecta Writing Challenge site. Please indulge me, and take a few minutes to give me some honest feedback.

20 responses to “Snow Covered Hills

  1. Magical, love this. I feel like I found this written on a scrap of paper, lost under a stack of boxes in an abandoned house, years and years ago, as if something out of another time. Extraordinarily moving for so few words. Thank you!

    • Wow, thanks, Sean! It almost *was* written on a scrap of paper, if only I’d had one when I thought of it, but I was riding my bike home from work. 🙂 I just repeated a few phrases in my head a bunch of times till they stuck. I do my writing when I can, and take what I get!

  2. Goosebumps. Your subtle touch with very big emotions is such a pleasure to read, always.

  3. A wonderful combination of the two prompts. There is a deep sadness here and you conveyed that without overdoing the emotions.

    • Thanks, Tara! It was a tricky one for me. Honestly, at first I’d intended it to be more sinister, but it felt like too much. I’m pretty pleased with the result.

  4. At the end, I felt my eyes widen and a smile come across my face. Wonderfully done.

  5. This feels so much like a couple of my own characters from my WIP. Rachel is the black haired one, Amanda the blond. Both vying for Nathan’s love…let’s hope it doesn’t come to a landslide 😉

  6. Not wishing ill, just not intervening either, in letting life balance out. Lovely Rose Red sleeps eternally while Snow White lives on to meet many more men.

  7. while i like how you included the song title in the line at the end, I was already sliding. This touched all the emotions and you used every word for maximum effect. *clapping*

  8. This is really good! The emotions really come through.

  9. This is so good. You have woven some powerful emotions into your piece. I especially like the “looking glass twins” being opposite in looks and dispositions.

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